So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
