so that wasnt chicken after all
I feel great
I just peed on a car
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Randomize
