There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
