dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
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