Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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