I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
