i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
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