By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
