I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
I've blown a few things in my day
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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