literally had 100 drinks last night.
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
My balls are so social today.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
