Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
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