The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
