this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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