i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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