never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
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