Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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