In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
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