1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
