Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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