If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
the raccoons are back...
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