i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
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