So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
