3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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