I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
She told me I should be a condom model.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I am available for nakedness
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
