Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
