Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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