she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize
