Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Randomize
