she was so not down for the gang bang
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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