the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Randomize
