she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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