Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
