We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
he fucked my hip out of place.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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