Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Randomize