i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
