Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
