What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Randomize
