butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
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