I don't have enough holes for all these australians
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Randomize
