Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
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