Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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