Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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