When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
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