i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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