I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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