Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Randomize
