is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
