Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Randomize
