hotel room ftw
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
