I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Randomize
