if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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