I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Randomize
