Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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