Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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