fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Randomize
