OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
