Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
