how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
