what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
I want you more than these girls want KFC
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
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